Why is it so hard to give good directions?
We’ve all been there – the directions sounded so clear when we were told them. Every step of the journey seemed obvious, we thought we had understood the directions perfectly. And yet here we are miles from anywhere, after dark, in a field arguing about whether we should have gone left or right at the last turn, whether we’re going to have to sleep here now, and exactly whose fault it is.
The truth is we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. Psychologically speaking giving good directions is a particularly difficult task.
The reason we find it hard to give good directions is because of the "curse of knowledge", a psychological quirk whereby, once we have learnt something, we find it hard to appreciate how the world looks to someone who doesn't know it yet. We don’t just want people to walk a mile in our shoes, we assume they already know the route. Once we know the way to a place we don't need directions, and descriptions like "its the left about halfway along" or "the one with the little red door" seem to make full and complete sense.
But if you've never been to a place before, you need more than a description of a place; you need an exact definition, or a precise formula for finding it. The curse of knowledge is the reason why, when I had to search for a friend's tent in a field, their advice of "it's the blue one" seemed perfectly sensible to them and was completely useless for me, as I stood there staring blankly at hundreds of blue tents.
This same quirk is why teaching is so difficult to do well. Once you are familiar with a topic it is very hard to understand what someone who isn't familiar with it needs to know. The curse of knowledge isn't a surprising flaw in our mental machinery – really it is just a side effect of our basic alienation from each other. We all have different thoughts and beliefs, and we have no special access to each other's minds. A lot of the time we can fake understanding by mentally simulating what we'd want in someone else's position. We have thoughts along the lines of "I'd like it if there was one bagel left in the morning" and therefore conclude "so I won't eat all the bagels before my wife gets up in the morning". This shortcut allows us to appear considerate, without doing any deep thought about what other people really know and want.
“OK, now what?”
This will only get you so far. Some occasions call for a proper understanding of other people's feelings and beliefs. Giving directions is one, but so is understanding myriad aspects of everyday conversation which involve feelings, jokes or suggestions. For illustration, consider the joke that some research has suggested may be the world's funniest(although what exactly that means is another story):
This will only get you so far. Some occasions call for a proper understanding of other people's feelings and beliefs. Giving directions is one, but so is understanding myriad aspects of everyday conversation which involve feelings, jokes or suggestions. For illustration, consider the joke that some research has suggested may be the world's funniest(although what exactly that means is another story):
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
The joke is funny because you can appreciate that the hunter had two possible interpretations of the operator's instructions, and chose the wrong one. To appreciate the interpretations you need to have a feel for what the operator and the hunter know and desire (and to be surprised when the hunter's desire to do anything to help isn't over-ruled by a desire keep his friend alive).
To do this mental simulation you recruit what psychologists call your“Theory of Mind”, the ability think about others' beliefs and desires. Our skill at Theory of Mind is one of the things that distinguish humans from all other species – only chimpanzees seem to have anything approaching a true understanding that others' might believe different things from themselves. Us humans, on the other hand, seem primed from early infancy to practice thinking about how other humans view the world.
The fact that the curse of knowledge exists tells us how hard a problem it is to think about other people's minds. Like many hard cognitive problems – such as seeing, for example – the human brain has evolved specialist mechanisms which are dedicate to solving it for us, so that we don't normally have to expend conscious effort. Most of the time we get the joke, just as most of the time we simply open our eyes and see the world.
The good news is that your Theory of Mind isn't completely automatic – you can use deliberate strategies to help you think about what other people know. A good one when writing is simply to force yourself to check every term to see if it is jargon – something you’ve learnt the meaning of but not all your readers will know. Another strategy is to tell people what they can ignore, as well as what they need to know. This works well with directions (and results in instructions like “keep going until you see the red door. There’s a pink door, but that’s not it”)
With a few tricks like this, and perhaps some general practice, we can turn the concept of trying to read other people’s minds – what some psychologists call “mind mindedness” – into a habit, and so improve our Theory of Mind abilities. (Something most of us remember struggling hard to do in adolescence.) Which is a good thing, since good theory of mind is what makes a considerate partner, friend or co-worker - and a good giver of directions.
courtesy of bbc.
Make More Money by Confronting Money
Steve has the golden touch. Everything he does makes money. As an employee at a furniture store, he gets fast promotions and raises. After five years, he is the top manager and makes a deal with the owner to buy the business. He makes several improvements and triples the income. He has no debt, saves money every month and has a lot of fun.Andy never has any money. He works hard at the same furniture company, but never gets ahead. He can't remember his last raise and is terrified of starting a business. He spends more than he makes, so his debts are steadily increasing. Because he constantly worries about money, he has health problems, as well.
What is the greatest difference between Steve and Andy?
"Man is having trouble with finance? Obviously, he is unwilling to confront* money." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Confront has two common definitions: 1) meet face-to-face in hostility or defiance. 2) face up to and deal with a problem; to be courageous. In this article, we are using the second definition.)
To resolve money troubles, you confront or face all aspects of money. To really confront something, you have no resistance, no hesitation and no emotion. You courageously, but simply face it.
For example, you can probably confront an apple. The apple does not scare you or upset you. You can easily control and enjoy the apple.
However, a credit card bill, a financial disagreement or a problem with taxes may not be as easy for you to face. These areas of low confront actually hurt your ability to earn money.
When you face something completely, the area starts to improve. It's amazing how much money you can make when you improve your ability to confront money problems.
Using our example above, Steve is a financial success because he faces all financial problems. For example, he fearlessly sells big packages of office furniture to the toughest customers.
Andy gets so nervous when talking to big-shot customers that he prefers to stay in the store instead of going to customer's offices. If he were willing to confront tough customers, and went to see them despite his fear, he would conquer his fear and earn more money.
Two Steps for Increasing Your Financial Confront
If you are not making as much money as you like, what about money are you not confronting?
Non-confront comes in many forms: fear, avoidance, shyness, laziness, procrastination, terror, pretense, anxiety, stress, worry, upsets, forgetfulness, disorganization, hatred, lies, shame, blame, regret, critical thoughts and excuses. Do you experience any of these forms of non-confront regarding money?
If you are willing to increase your ability to confront money, you will have more of it. All you need to do is:
1. Identify an aspect of money you are not confronting.
2. Confront it: face it, deal with it, be courageous, take responsibility for it; invest the hard work and persistence required to resolve it.
20 Questions
To help you get started, these questions can help you identify the areas of money you should confront.
1. How much money do you owe?
2. How much loan interest do you pay per month?
3. How much money do you spend per month? On what?
4. How much money do you waste per month?
5. Is your checkbook balanced?
6. Do you avoid preparing tax forms?
7. Are you not paying money you promised to pay?
8. Are you avoiding anyone who owes you money?
9. Are you involved in a financial disagreement?
10. What are you doing with money that you should not be doing? That you should be doing?
11. Do you have a long-term financial plan?
12. What work skills should you improve?
13. How could you produce a better service or product?
14. What about your income are you avoiding?
15. What do you lie about regarding money?
16. What bad habits do you have with money?
17. What scares you about money?
18. What are you putting off?
19. What do you hate about money?
20. What steps would be needed for you to increase your income? Which of these steps seem too difficult for you to face?
Pick one thing you are willing to confront, confront it today and see what happens!
courtesy of tips4life L. Ron Hubbard
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