That’s not my job!

If a boss asks you to do something that is not in your job description once, you might feel you have no choice but to do it.

Inappropriate bosses are everywhere. — Janet Scarborough Civitelli

A one-off request, perhaps you do as a favour, not even giving it a second thought. But what if it becomes a pattern? One day, it’s an emergency dry cleaning drop-off, the next it’s picking up his kids at soccer or taking out the rubbish. At what point are such requests inappropriate?
(Thinkstock)The problem with these favours, sadly, is that often they aren’t isolated. “If a boss does this, it is likely [he or she] will violate professional boundaries in other ways as well, so this probably isn't the only challenge you'll have in this job,” wrote Janet Scarborough Civitelli, an Austin, Texas-based workplace psychologist and career coach, in an email.

Putting it into context
How do you decide whether something is OK?
“Context is everything,” said Philadelphia-based talent management consultant Mary Schaefer in an email. “It depends on your relationship and the pattern of behaviour so far. First, do you want to do it? Second, does it appear your boss has no other choice than to ask you?  Third, what are the probable consequences for you if you don't?”

Where to draw the line
Don’t think this is a problem of just certain companies. It’s an issue at both large and small firms, according to Scarborough Civitelli. “Inappropriate bosses are everywhere,” she said.
It’s crucial to establish boundaries and draw the line early on. Scarborough Civitelli suggested saying something along the lines of: "I want to be helpful, but I think we may have different expectations...Can we please discuss it so that we can get in sync about what my job entails?"
The more you can keep the conversation friendly and unemotional, the better it should go.  “Either you'll arrive at a mutually agreeable decision or you will find out that this job requires something that makes you uncomfortable and then you'll have to weigh the pros and cons of seeking other employment,” Scarborough Civitelli said.

Offering up plan B
“You can draw the line wherever you want,” said Schaefer. “If you don't want to do [something], and you think you would lose your job if you say no, but you are not ready to leave, you have a decision to make. [You] might agree in the moment, follow through, and then strategise as to how to follow up so it doesn't happen again.”
If your supervisor is a reasonable person, you might offer to brainstorm alternatives or even help them make other arrangements, suggested Schaefer who is a firm advocate of discussing expectations — no matter how trivial or unusual they may seem — early on “while the relationship is amiable and stable, and there is no current hot topic.”
In many cases, bosses may not even realise that they have overstepped their boundaries. Dr Lorraine Tilbury, founder of personal and professional development firm HorsePower International based in France’s Loire Valley, said that one time her husband asked the woman who they had employed to clean their house to shine his shoes. The woman refused and explained to him that she was a cleaning lady, not a servant.
“He had no idea that she would react that way to his request,” said Tilbury. “But he understood and never asked her again to do it. Very often the requestor doesn't even realise that they've crossed a boundary until you tell them.”
Included in any discussion should be your job description. “If the boss is iffy about that, draw it out of them,” said Schaefer. “Ask questions like: What did the person in this role before me do? What did they do that you want to make sure is continued? And, what is one thing you would change about this job now that there is a new person in it?”

A paper trail
Would you shine shoes for your boss? (Manuel-F-O/Thinkstock)But don’t stop there. Draft up a paragraph based on your discussion. Send it via email, and include a note: "Here is how I would summarise what I heard about what you expect of my role.  If there is anything I didn't represent accurately or left out, please let me know,” said Schaefer.
By documenting it, you’ll have it to refer back to if you ever need it. “Reasonable humans hate to contradict themselves,” she said. Plus, said Schaefer, it can really reinforce your point. “When I was a human resources manager, it was amazing to me how often employees would not ‘hear’ feedback about performance until they ‘saw’ it on paper,” she said. “It’s something about how the brain works, and it works equally well when you are trying to get on the same page with your supervisor.”

Getting nowhere
If your boss continues to be unresponsive, it could be worth it to get a second opinion from someone you trust, suggested Schaefer. “You don't have to tell the whole story, but perhaps engage a boss you respected in the past who can give you guidance as when to escalate,” she said.
If your concerns continue to fall on deaf ears with your current boss and you keep getting outlandish requests, then going to your human resources department might be your next option. Just make sure to keep your documentation handy, said Schaefer.

Regional differences
In some countries, boundaries are not so cut and dry, especially with family-owned and smaller businesses. “[In Asia] sometimes going above and beyond what you were hired to do can be the norm,” said Steven Yeong, a recruiter coach at Hof Consulting in Singapore, in an email. “Often, the marketing or sales directors may have to pick up the boss’s kids from soccer practice,” he said. “It can quite hard for the subordinate to say ‘no’ to her superior even with lots of diplomacy and a soft-soft approach.”
In these cases, Yeong has seen many employees quit rather than approach their bosses.
But in France, boundaries tend to be clearer with the introduction of the 35-hour work week a decade and a half ago. “[It] has obliged small business owners to ensure that their employees paid by the hour do focus primarily on their direct job responsibilities in order to avoid excessive overtime hours,” said Tilbury. It’s not that unusual requests don’t happen; it is just easier to turn them down.

Choosing the right path
It’s important to trust your instincts, said Tilbury. If something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. “Once you determine the boundary that needs to be re-instated, communicate constructively and as quickly as you can what your boundary is to the person involved,” she said. “Waiting to discuss it will increase your level of frustration and anger, and that can lead to an unconstructive explosion in the long run. That's why it's important to communicate it as quickly as you can.”

Courtesy BBC Capital



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The multitasking myth

Race car drivers maintain laser-like focus. (Dan Istitene/Getty Images) 

When Formula One driver Derek Bell stepped into a race car and switched on the ignition, life's distractions melted away.



Bell, who raced from 1968 to 1996 for teams including Ferrari and McLaren, would think of nothing for the next few hours but tire pressure, how much gas he had left, and how the car felt going into a turn. Nothing but the track.
“The experience of being totally committed, being totally into every detail of driving, it’s like a Zen experience,” recalled Bell, a native of Britain now living in Boca Raton, Florida. “You never get a chance to lose your concentration because driving takes every ounce of it.
The focus Bell experienced in his race car, of being so committed to the moment at hand, can equal success in business too. These days it’s called living in the moment or being mindful. And while mindfulness might sound like management speak, research shows having an intense focus on a particular task — rather than multitasking — can make you more productive and effective at work.
As a manager, it means creating ways to help your staff intensely focus on their work, said Michael Chaskalson, an author and mindfulness expert. “It’s about managing your attention and the attention of your staff to the present moment,” Chaskalson said.
Since living in the moment isn’t something that’s taught in most schools, Chaskalson recommends training programs on mindfulness, usually eight-week sessions that incorporate everything from meditation-based breathing techniques to neuroscience-based methods to improve focus and productivity. The companies that do this already include Apple, Deutsche Bank, General Mills and Google.
Working mindfully means giving up on the idea of multitasking, said Theresa Glomb, professor of organisational behaviour at the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management. That’s right: the idea of doing a bunch of things at once is a great recipe for doing a bunch of things poorly, with none of them getting the full attention they deserve. “This leaves managers in a constant state of distraction,” Glomb said.
Consider that open-door policy many managers today have strived to adopt. While it promotes creativity by allowing a manager to be more accessible, the downside is constant interruptions, making focusing on work difficult. Instead, Glomb suggested that managers create office hours, like university professors. If that doesn’t work, simply ask the employee to come back at a later time that suits you — and your work.
When it’s impossible to ignore an interruption, Glomb recommends keeping track of where you were. Quickly jot down three ideas about the task and what you were about to do next so you can seamlessly pick up again where you left off.
Living in the moment also means setting routines, Glomb said. Start your day by prioritising your work load. Big or difficult tasks should be handled first thing, when your attention is at its most acute. As for emails and less important meetings, save them for later in the day. And, before leaving work, make tomorrow’s “to do” list or open documents you need to work on the next morning.
“Mindfulness doesn’t need to be sitting on a cushion and meditating,” Glomb said. “Sometimes it’s just about pausing and reflecting and thinking about your next direction.”

Bell, the two-time World Sportscar Championship and five-time LeMans winner, remembers when thinking about his next move meant keeping himself alive. It was like that in France in 1995 during a rainy 24 Hours of LeMans, the endurance race with three drivers taking turns behind the wheel. Bell was about to head into the pits to switch drivers when his crew came on the radio. His replacement was too tired and couldn’t take over. Bell had to continue. 
“The attention needed to drive in the rain all night long, it was intense,” recalled Bell, whose team finished third that year. “You either needed to have all your focus or you would be in trouble.”
That was easier for Bell, a seasoned veteran, than younger drivers. At first, drivers struggle with all the dials and knobs in a cockpit, constantly monitoring the gas, and always being worried about how the brakes feel.
“When you start, everything is compartmentalized, and you always have to go through a mental checklist,” Bell said. “All these things come naturally as you get older, and you start just doing things without thinking of it because you’ve honed that attention.”
Imagine then as a manager doing the same thing: every task in front of you gets nothing but your complete focus — and then your complete confidence as well.

 courtesy of BBC_Capital.

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How to stop procrastinating


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Due tomorrow? Oh, I’ll start tonight

If you’ve already done your holiday shopping or prepared next year’s tax returns, you can congratulate yourself for being so organized. Most of us are more likely to wait until the 11th hour to get that last bit of shopping done — and wait until the last possible moment to complete a project that’s coming due.
Why do we put off the inevitable? Is it busyness, laziness, the need for the adrenalin rush, fear of failure, or a combination of factors?

We turned to question-and-answer site Quora to find out how to get over the bad habit of procrastinating. Here’s what respondents had to say about delaying tactics.

Par for the course
 “We live in a society that is totally bombarded with distractions all the time,” wrote Shaz Hasan. “And now thanks to the internet, ‘we create more content in 48 hours than we did from the dawn of civilization up until 2003’, according to Eric Schmidt CEO of Google. That’s A LOT of YouTube videos, blog posts, Facebook statuses, and tweets that will distract you every day.”
Nikant Vohra calls procrastination perfectly normal. “Most of the people in the world procrastinate from time to time,” he said. “Sometimes it is for small things like cleaning the house, buying groceries, washing clothes etc. But most of the time, it is for things that are very important for life like going to the gym, completing the exam preparation or paying your bills.”
Why do we do it? Vohra cites three reasons:
  1. Overestimating our own abilities:  “A lot of us overestimate our own abilities of completing a piece of work on time. Not only this, we overestimate that how motivated we will be in the future to complete the work at hand …We all come up with a lot of excuses to avoid  work. Too busy. Too tired. Too broke. Sometimes these excuses make sense. But most of the time they are like a safety blanket to protect you from doing some real work.”
  2. Too many distractions: “In this advanced age of technology, we have a lot of distractions in life which do not allow us to do real work. How can a person prepare for an exam when he has 30 pending requests of Candy Crush Saga on his Facebook page? How can he go to gym when he has to answer hundreds of emails? Most of us have become slaves to these distractions.”
  3. Self doubt and fear: “When we are unsure of how to tackle a project or insecure in our abilities, we might find ourselves putting it off in favour of working on other tasks. We tell ourselves that ‘one day’ we will be ready to make a change, or take a chance; that ‘one day’ the timing will be better, our confidence stronger, our circumstances easier. But that one day never comes.”
Recognising the problem
Why we procrastinate is often determined by the task at hand. “We use our conscious mind to decide what's important to us, and then we set up ideals that we know we should follow — write that first page, take that hour to go workout, finish reading that book, make that phone call, cook that good meal. These are our should-haves,” wrote Paul Winslow. “But then our actions expose very different priorities. In fact, our actions expose our real priorities. Our must-haves.”
“The key is absolutely in how we associate the things we do with our pain and pleasure signals in the brain,” he continued. “Pleasure comes in many forms: excitement, fun, warm, relaxing. And pain has many shades of its own: boredom, fear, frustrating, uncomfortable.”

I am a procrastinator
Admitting you are a procrastinator goes a long way to finding a solution. “I've struggled with procrastination all my life,” wrote Douglas Stewart. To combat that, Stewart breaks task into what tiny “doable”chunks. “Then I put an egg timer on my desk and set it for a reasonable amount of focused work time (usually 50 minutes). I shut off all distractions.”
Meanwhile, Pedro Teixeira faces his biggest issue: fear. “I found that my main source of procrastination was fear,” he wrote. “I simply feared failure and rejection. I was stuck on doing preliminary and preparatory work forever, causing anxiety…I had to face it and start actually working. My new motto is ‘stop trying to do it and do it.’”
Procrastination also can be a response to boredom. “Procrastination around certain tasks is indication that I don't (internally) really want to do then,” Heron Weston wrote. “Then, I either have to accept them or try to change them. Either way, I make that choice and I am responsible for the way it turns out. I find this feeling of personal power extremely motivating.

Getting out of the hole
The problem with procrastination is that it can feed onto itself. “The more time you invest in procrastinating, the easier it is to find more distractions and continue on procrastinating,” Hasan wrote. “So by procrastinating more and more, you’re simply digging yourself a deeper hole, a hole that will be ultimately impossible to get out of.”
To break the cycle, Hasan suggests removing your attention from the distraction, physically and mentally. “Switch it off, close the browser and do whatever you have to do in that moment to remove yourself from the activity that is resulting in you procrastinating,” he wrote. “Do whatever it takes to remove yourself from your environment temporarily.
Jose Ricaro Rosado Cruz suggests improving productivity by working in short bursts, listing your “to dos” and turning off your mobile phone and internet connections at work. “Begin by completing your most urgent task. Notice I say urgent, not important. Urgent means that it has less time to be completed,” he wrote.

The feel good factor
Some respondents said the hardest part of any task is getting started. Sara Wedeman, who wrote her doctoral dissertation on procrastination, wrote: “It's not just a question of avoiding doing something that is frustrating, difficult, and anxiety provoking: the mere anticipation of frustration prevents the procrastinator from even starting…Once that tipping point (pain of not doing exceeds pain of doing) is crossed, and they actually begin the task, they are often shocked to discover it was never that bad at all.”
Psychologist Bruce Neben says the feeling of relief at accomplishing the task can outweigh the anxiety that led to the procrastination in the first place. “At those rare times when you have actually done the thing which you have procrastinated about, there is a feeling of relief — a good feeling, to get that thing done so you don't have to worry about it anymore,” Neben wrote. “Make it a policy to ALWAYS do the hardest task FIRST.  You will probably find that it doesn't take as long as you think it will, and it leaves lots of time to do the easy things, leaving you in a better mood.”

Courtesy: BBC Capital
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The weirdest words ever used for sacking people?

Have you “taken one for the team,” been “given the pink slip,” “eased out,” “reorganised,” “made redundant,” “axed,” or “invited to be successful elsewhere”? Call it what you will, they all point to one thing: “You’re sacked.”
Yep, there are some pretty creative ways to show someone the door. We looked to question-and-answer site Quora to find the most creative euphemisms for layoffs. This is what respondents had to say.

Downright rude
It’s never easy to hear that you’ve been let go, nor is it easy for most managers to be the bearer of the bad news. But some have more tact than others.
“One of my dad's friends said to a guy: ‘I don't know how this office would run without you! But as of Monday, I'm going to find out’,” wrote Tracey Bryan.
Equally insensitive, wrote Richard Brasser, is a line used periodically by a business owner he knows: “I had to shoot another hostage today. The team was getting a little complacent.
And when John Bagnall lost his job at EMI Records, he was told, “ ‘We’ve decided your outlook and talents are ideally suited to the freelance sector’,” he wrote.
Beware the dreaded “ized”
To soften the blow, some managers avoid the dreaded “downsize” but use its particular construction.  Take “rightsized,” for example. “Rightsizing" wrote Robert Rapplean, is “a way of avoiding saying ‘downsizing.’ When the managers would hold onto their jobs by laying off all of the actual workers, we would call that ‘capsizing.’
Lorna Hughes knows a friend who was “told she'd been let go because the company was being ‘smartsized, which seem especially cruel,” she wrote. “Not only are they firing you but they're telling you they're smart to do so.”
Richard Careaga recalls he first “synergised” and then “graduated” when his company was absorbed by a bigger player. “It was one of those all of a sudden things where me and my 50,000 buddies were swallowed up by our new 250,000 friends,” he wrote. “In an organisation that big all you can hope to control (at least temporarily) is headcount and for the most part the guys at former [headquarters] were a bucket of unsorted spare parts to unneeded machinery. Still, it stung.”
And when Nortel Networks experienced mass layoffs in 2001, the company “did not rightsize, downsize, or smartsize anyone,” wrote Troy Turner, then a manager at the company. “Nortel ‘OPTIMISED’ 65,000 people!  (Yes, that included me and all my peers, our bosses, and even their bosses, & their.... )”
Deciphering corporate jibberish
When in doubt as to what to say, some mangers just defer to corporate jargon. “My favourite,” wrote Andy Micone, “was ‘realigning our resources to our corporate strategy.’ That's right, they told people that they ‘weren't being laid off’ but were simply ‘no longer in alignment.’  If you felt like a cog in a corporate machine yesterday...”
Meanwhile, George Andre said he’s heard a fair share of convoluted euphemisms, including "recycling our creative pool,” “maximising our throughput by streamlining our workforce” and “rethinking our future,” he wrote.
Out with a quack
Even when employers try to be diplomatic, layoffs can foster home-grown euphemisms, where the employees themselves coin a term for job cuts.
At one Fortune 500 company, a manager was known for walking up to people “seemingly at random and say ‘You doing anything this afternoon? I have some stuff I want to chat with you about. Let’s go take a walk around the duck pond,” Micone wrote. “We noticed people leaving to go for a walk with this manager would never return. Soon the catch-phrase for layoffs … was ‘a walk around the duck pond.’”

Courtesy: BBC Capital

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First time boss? Avoid these major sins

Many people get their best ideas at unpredictable times, in the bathtub, driving home or sipping whiskey late at night in the office.
Being a new boss can be nervewracking. (McMillan Digital Art/Getty Images)
There’s no escaping it. At some point in any career, you will probably be a boss for the first time… and you will undoubtedly make some of the big mistakes that new supervisors inevitably make.
The key, of course, is to avoid some of the most egregious missteps. Here’s how.

Time to take charge
"If you lose three nights of sleep, someone needs to go. — Ross Cagan''
Ross Cagan managed a team for the first time when he was in his thirties and an assistant professor at Washington University School of Medicine in St Louis, Missouri, in the US. Part of his job required supervising a lab of a dozen students, postdoctoral  fellows and technicians.
“Basically, they were betting their scientific careers on whether I was any good,” said Cagan.
He remembers one especially problematic postdoc who was quite confrontational with other members of the lab. Cagan struggled with how to respond. “I stressed and hesitated,” said Cagan, who knew he should discipline her. “I feared what the other lab members would feel.”
When Cagan finally acted, it turned out that everyone else was grateful. “[They] wondered why I took so long to do it.”
New managers can feel as if it’s never the right time to make a big statement or address an issue. Act too soon and people might think you’re simply trying to exert your authority. Wait too long and you could come off as weak and un-boss-like — or even ill-prepared for the responsibility of supervising a team.
“If you lose three nights of sleep, someone needs to go,” said Cagan of the lesson he learned about stepping up to deal with a problematic worker right away.
Going to your head
On the other side of the coin is the manager who takes the ‘boss’ title too literally.
“As the ‘person in charge’ new supervisors often fall back on preconceived notions of what a boss is and try to lead by telling people what to do, dominating decision making, micro-managing work, and serving as a gatekeeper for information and communications,” wrote Jim Concelman, vice-president of leadership development for global human resources consulting firm Development Dimensions International, in an email.
Most new supervisors are promoted because of specific technical or subject-area abilities. They’ve got the expertise and knowledge to get work done, said Concelman. “So new bosses make the mistake of relying on the skills that made them great individual contributors, and miss the opportunity to develop leadership skills,” he said.
Those who do the best with the transition go through a “Copernican Revolution” of sorts, according to Concelman. They come to recognise “that the universe doesn’t revolve around them, but rather around the team” and “that their success is dependent on the success of each member of the work group so they focus on the team.”
The “I can do it myself” mentality
Attention new boss: if you think you can go it alone, you’re wrong.
Unfortunately, thinking they can handle it all is a common mistake among newbies, according to San Francisco Bay Area executive coach Joel Garfinkle. This attitude is bound to fail, eventually.
To avoid this pitfall, Garfinkle suggests identifying mentors who have experience managing. “Ask them for support, feedback and guidance on a regular basis.”
Sometimes, the best mentor can be a person outside of your organisation who can be “a sounding board and a guide for you,” according to Dr Lorraine Tilbury, founder of personal and professional development firm HorsePower International based in France’s Loire Valley.
Finding someone inside your company, however, “can help you understand the ‘unwritten rules’ and the management culture that exists in your organisation,” wrote Tilbury who is also the vice president of mentoring for the Global PWN (Professional Women’s Network) Federation. “Clarify upfront with your mentor what your expectations are: frequency and length of your meetings, topics you want to discuss.”
Decision paralysis
Doug Tucker, managing director of Sales Commando, an international sales training organisation based in London and the United Arab Emirates, has seen many new managers freeze when it comes time to making decisions. They are either fearful of making mistakes or don’t want to become unpopular — or both, he said.
This behaviour only makes a bad situation worse. “If you don't manage a situation, the situation will always manage itself and often the outcome might not be what is desired,” wrote Tucker, adding that some decision is always better than no decision at all. “If it’s wrong, then back it up with your logic, acknowledge it was wrong and learn from your mistake by not repeating it.”
Above the rest
Finally, don’t forget that your job entails much more than just the management tasks.
Many first-time managers are excited about the position and want to be sure they do everything possible to succeed,” wrote Connecticut-based Ben Carpenter, author of The Bigs and vice chairman of broker-dealer CRT Capital Group. “They remove themselves from the production side of their job and devote themselves entirely to managing.”
But this is a bad idea, Carpenter said. Instead, stay involved and be a player/coach as long as possible.
“Much of one’s credibility within the company is derived from doing, not from managing,” he said. Plus, your value will be higher and ability to find work stronger if and when you decide to change companies. “It is easier to quantify how much your personal efforts contribute to the whole.”

Courtesy of BBC Capital.

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Why Multitasking Blocks Your Best Ideas

Many people get their best ideas at unpredictable times, in the bathtub, driving home or sipping whiskey late at night in the office.
But those who juggle numerous work and family roles face an added obstacle, research shows: All the multitasking they do tends to block out new ideas.
Managing multiple tasks at the same time requires a lot of working memory and “executive control” – the ability to direct and focus your attention, says a 2010 study in the journal Intelligence. But working memory and the ability to focus actually work against the cognitive processes that generate light-bulb moments, says a 2012 study at the University of Illinois at Chicago.
“Too much focus can actually harm creative problem-solving,” preventing the diffuse, open thinking required to come up with new approaches and novel connections, the study says. Multitaskers may have to work harder than others to block out time for the daydreaming, exercise or mind-wandering that generate “aha moments,” the research suggests.

Dana Brownlee, a mother of two preschoolers and a corporate trainer and speaker, gets many of her best ideas jogging, showering or sleeping. Last fall, she knew she needed a light-bulb moment. She was feeling overwhelmed by all her roles – “wife, mother, entrepreneur, friend, sister, keynote speaker, consultant, corporate trainer, etc.,” says Ms. Brownlee, president of Professionalism Matters.
The solution was probably lurking in her subconscious mind, Ms. Brownlee says, but it didn’t emerge until she broke away to take a run. She frequently made contracts with her clients, defining boundaries and responsibilities, she says. And “as I started my jog, it just hit me almost like a bolt of lightning,” she says: “Stop and make a contract with yourself. Decide what you will do and what you won’t do, and let everything else go,” she says. She ran home and jotted down a five-point list of priorities that have guided her ever since, including “family trumps work” and “don’t sweat the small stuff.”
The list, which she calls “the Mommy Contract,” has helped her stick to a principle she believes in, she says: “First, decide what’s important. Then, live a life that reflects that.” Since she wrote it, she has been picking up her children, ages 4 and 18 months, from school almost every day; spending weekends with her family instead of running errands, and taking family vacation time every other month.

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Are you a workaholic? Or simply hard working?

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Working hard can win you acclaim and promotions. It can also hurt your health and family life. How do you know when to stop?
There are subtle differences between being a high performer and a workaholic. If free time leaves you feeling anxious or you are never satisfied with your work, you may just be working too hard.

Jullien Gordon, Founding Partner of New Higher
“High performance and workaholism look the same on the outside. They both look like hard work. The BIG DIFFERENCE is how the individual feels on the inside about who they are in relationship to their work,” wrote Gordon in his post High Performers vs Workaholics.

First, there is a difference between doing business and being busy. “A workaholics' No. 1 goal is to be busy,” wrote Gordon. “Workaholics fill any space in time with busy work because they feel insecure doing nothing. The insecurity comes from not knowing their value. They believe that the busier they are, the more important they must be.

High performers know when they have succeeded at a task or project. Workaholics, on the other hand, don’t know when to stop, Gordon explained. “A workaholic doesn't know what enough is,” he wrote. “I'm not good enough. This isn't good enough… they don't really know what success means to them.”
Gordon wrote that while high performers know their self-value, workaholics constantly rely on outside cues of validation. “They wait for external evaluations such as mid-year or annual reviews done by others to understand how well they are doing.”

Last but not least, Gordon claimed that workaholics can’t differentiate between what they can or cannot control. “A high performer focuses on their effort — inputs and outputs,” he wrote. This is quite different from someone who focuses only on the outcome and their income. “Their desire to compare leads them to judge themselves using common metrics of success which aren't always directly correlated to effort.”

Joel Peterson, Chairman of JetBlue Airways
Sometimes, the biggest challenge in being a workaholic is that you simply don’t know you are one. Peterson points out some signs in his post 10 Signs You’re Working Too Hard and How to Stop.
“An editor at the Chicago Sun-Times once said that he couldn’t take time off. He was afraid the place would fall apart without him — and he was terrified it wouldn’t,” wrote Peterson. “If you think the universe depends on you, you’re headed for a high-stress breakdown. Hire people who will do a better job than you ever could, and then celebrate their successes, get out of their way and recharge your batteries regularly.”
Another sign? “Your favorite phrase is ‘you’ve got mail’,” wrote Peterson. “Email… (is) a two-edged sword. If you’re disciplined, it’s a time-saver. But if your use of it goes unchecked, it morphs into a constant interrupter, a pestering reminder of all you’re having a hard time responding to. So turn off your email,” he advised.

If you’re always running late, this could also be a warning to slow down. “Make a commitment that you’ll be five minutes early to every meeting and every event… This will rarely reduce the quality of your thinking or your work, and it will usually help you re-frame your priorities and focus on your accountability and deliverables.” That way, you can take the mental break you need.
Another sign you’re a workaholic — and an annoying one at that: “You’re impossible to please. The food isn’t good enough, the hotel’s not convenient enough, your income isn’t high enough,” Peterson wrote. But there’s a solution. “Turn inward and change your mindset. One of my mantras… has become, ‘I have all I need’.”

Peterson also pointed out that most workaholics live in the past or future. “You reminisce, telling stories of past glories. Or you await the future, unable to really start living until a certain goal is behind you. Both of these are signals that you’re living outside the present, a habit that only leads to more stress.” Learning how to commit to the present is just as valuable as looking forward.

courtesy:BBC capital

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Bad boss: Dealing with the terror at the top

Most of us, at some point in our careers, have experienced a bad boss. These terrors demoralise employees, walk around with an ego the size of Russia and make colleagues cringe as soon as they in the room or bellow down the hall.
Yet are these bosses truly ineffective managers? Perhaps the “bad boss” syndrome is merely a personality clash between the head of a team and the employee.
We turned to question-and-answer-site Quora for some advice on whether bad bosses exist.  Here’s what some respondents had to say.

The power trip
“Oh, there are bad bosses. In fact, there are mostly bad bosses,” wrote Al Nelson. “They tend to be angry overbearing alphas or narcissistic overconfident alphas who lead by violence or charisma.”
Bad bosses exist because “most people can’t handle power,” added Robert Neville. “Some people can't handle even the tiniest fraction of power. It turns them into jerks.”
To be a good boss takes some character, Neville continued. “It doesn’t mean that you are perfect but that you have a few basic things like integrity, compassion and professionalism. Ultimately, the company reflects the personality of the person who runs it.  If that person is a devious, conniving, arrogant jerk, you'll find that he produces a lot of bosses under him that are the same.”

Traits to watch for
So what defines a bad boss? Jeff Schaffzin offered a simple definition: “A bad boss is a boss who you can't stand working for (and chances are she or he feels the same way about you).”
Still ,there are certain personality traits that some employees find unacceptable, while others are unfazed. “For example: Is your boss a micromanager? For some people, they crave structure and someone to spoon feed them. Others (myself included) like having the ability to be given the opportunity to come up with my own solutions and show them off.
  • Is your boss a screamer? For some people (ones that definitely need some sort of therapy), that type of relationship means that the boss cares. For others, it's something that's deeply disturbing or downright frustrating.
  • Does your boss play favourites? If you aren’t on your boss’s golden list, sure it's annoying because chances are you won't be given what you need to do your job. However, for the ones who manage to get that honour (and I use that term loosely), you may feel empowered or even emboldened by that relationship.”
When you’re the bad boss
Not every boss is a good boss to everyone, said Ashwin Ramesh, who has hired hundreds of people and fired a bunch of them over the years. If you hate your company, chances are that you actually hate your boss, he said, admitting that he’s been called a bad boss before.
“If you have a boss that shouts, he sucks,” Ramesh said. “I used to be a shouter, but I'm no longer one. That's something I've learnt from the years. Shouting accomplishes nothing and all you're doing is making someone feel very bad. If your boss is a shouter, he's probably immature (like, I was), or worse still, has mental or personal problems.”
Ramesh defines a bad boss as “someone who:
  • Doesn't understand his team member's capabilities, strengths and weaknesses
  • Is too embroiled in satisfying his own personal ego and doesn't listen to subordinates
  • Doesn't believe in hiring smart team members”
“Bad bosses exist, and they are a major liability for companies” he added, “but by the time they’re discovered, it’s too late and companies have already lost a lot of great employees.”
Some may argue that “fear-driving bosses are good and that they push their teams to results (think Steve Jobs),” wrote Ross Matthews. “Tactics may include tight deadlines, unreasonable results and even threatening one’s job. However, the research says that these harsh methods of leadership may not be that effective. They lead to poor choices, lack of creativity and the expectation of a negative outcome.
“If you treat people like they’re doing a bad job, they’ll probably do a bad job,” Matthews concluded.

So what do you do?
According to Schaffzin, you have three choices: suck it up and accept it, quit or stand up to your boss and accept the ramifications.
You can also ask to be transferred to a different department within the company. “Pick a calmer beta, that is capable of creativity and introspection,” said Nelson “They have always been required to lead from a position of competence and ability.”
Neville agreed: “If you have the good fortune to be at one where there's a good leader, you'll find that the company is filled with good leaders. I believe that good leadership and the establishment of a good company culture is the secret ingredient behind a company that is wildly successful beyond all of the predictions.”
Courtesy of BBC.
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The truth about office romances

Q. In office romances between a boss and a junior employee, what is the ethical line between a relationship based on mutual affection and attraction, and a coercive one where the superior has the power? Does it matter whether the boss and the employee are male or female? 

Let’s dispel two myths about office romances: you can’t keep them a secret from colleagues, and there’s always a power dynamic when the two people involved aren’t peers. “In the end, truth will out,” Shakespeare wrote.
If it’s a coercive relationship, it surely violates the company’s policies and exposes the firm to a sexual-harassment lawsuit. But even if the employees involved are dating of their own free will, the one higher in the hierarchy will retain some measure of power, said Hilary Pearl, who runs Pearl Associates LLC, an executive coaching and organisational consulting firm, based in Old Greenwich, Connecticut, in the US.
Relationships that begin with affection and respect can end quite differently, with disastrous results. — Hilary Pearl
This can wreak havoc not only for the two people dating but also for their colleagues. Pearl tells the story of one female client whose male boss was having an office romance with a woman who was the client’s direct report.  Of course the client found out about the relationship, which the pair had tried to keep secret. Then she started worrying about how she was expected to treat her own junior staffer, who was now the boss’s girlfriend.
“She saw what appeared to be favouritism in terms of the boss’s input into the more junior employee’s performance appraisal,” Pearl said. All this drama distracted her from focusing on her job, not to mention the fact that it left the company open to a discrimination lawsuit because of the boss’s behaviour.
Even worse: what happens when the couple breaks up? “Relationships that begin with affection and respect can end quite differently, with disastrous results,” Pearl noted.
Although Pearl says gender doesn’t change the ethical issues around office romances, she cautions that the woman may have more to lose. “Whether the superior or junior employee, the woman creates just one more barrier to tackle, and puts herself at further risk of hurting her personal brand and jeopardising her job security and career advancement,” she said.
Is that fair? No, but it’s the reality.
So how can one handle these challenges? Avoidance is the best rule. Try your hardest not to get involved romantically with others in your reporting line. If you do, think seriously about making a move to a different department or even another company. You’re in danger of damaging not only your own career, but also those of others in your workplace.
“Rarely does an office romance affect just the two people involved — it affects colleagues, the department, and the organisation especially if there is a reporting relationship,” Pearl said.
And if you’re stuck in a coercive relationship with a boss, that’s where the human resources department should get involved. Most companies have policies that prevent reprisals against employees who have been the target of a boss’s advances. Many companies forbid office romances, period.
"If there is a policy against relationships that have direct reporting (lines), then the employees involved in the relationship are guilty of violating their ethical and actual contract with the company to behave in a respectful, responsible, high integrity manner that upholds the company’s standards," Pearl said.


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Work Ethic is a twice-monthly column on BBC Capital in which we consider the ethical and interpersonal dilemmas that workers face around the world. We welcome knotty questions from readers at workethic@bbc.com
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